you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
