i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize