babies were throwing up all over the place
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
