I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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