i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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