Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Terrible idea I love it
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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