I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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