Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
