That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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