omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
