Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
