dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
