Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize