Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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