people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
