So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
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I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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