Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I will pee on everything he values.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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