Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
