just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I checked into jail on foursquare
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
