Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
