i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
