i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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