We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
