so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
