We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
