Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
