we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize