her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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