Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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