I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
