she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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