My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
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just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
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Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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