I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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