She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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