For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
