I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
