Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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