Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
