So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"