WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.