Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.