Texts From Last Night

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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?

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  (636): I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me? http://tfl.nu/6q93
  Replies (7) Good night (1211) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  I wish they had nachos that got you drunk

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  (760): I wish they had nachos that got you drunk http://tfl.nu/1jvf
  Replies (17) Good night (4329) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila

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  (508): Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila http://tfl.nu/42fz
  Replies (24) Good night (1309) Bad night (3758) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.

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  (208): She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible. http://tfl.nu/a9zl
  Replies (41) Good night (797) Bad night (9113) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name

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  (561): Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name http://tfl.nu/36j9
  Replies (4) Good night (3147) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.

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  (402): Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job. http://tfl.nu/cd1b
  Replies (15) Good night (2423) Bad night (957) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.

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  (920): sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself. http://tfl.nu/ur25
  Replies (16) Good night (9987) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him

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  (703): Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him http://tfl.nu/ek6e
  Replies (9) Good night (5428) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken

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  (561): how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken http://tfl.nu/p5ms
  Replies (5) Good night (1692) Bad night (1266) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE

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  (443): the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE http://tfl.nu/nr5v
  Replies (5) Good night (1832) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  the wall and i were having dominance issues.

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  (614): the wall and i were having dominance issues. http://tfl.nu/itlm
  Replies (7) Good night (2244) Bad night (1565) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.

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  (914): Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names. http://tfl.nu/zaoe
  Replies (4) Good night (2423) Bad night (432)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.

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  (317): HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING. http://tfl.nu/dtfs
  Replies (7) Good night (1912) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.

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  (304): I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home. http://tfl.nu/3pgq
  Replies (31) Good night (461) Bad night (2148) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.

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  (510): So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor. http://tfl.nu/fpi2
  Replies (1) Good night (733) Bad night (153) Order T-Shirt

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