glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit