I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE