I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not