Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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