my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
