If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
