I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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