Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
