My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize