i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
