I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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