I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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