I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We left an ass print on the piano.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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