Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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