after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
