UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There's always time for handjobs
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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