Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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