you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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